that's the weather, for now

16th February

National
How about the next couple of days? We've had enough of this troublesome low haven't we? It's finally getting the hint.

Auckland
Think of a hoover, you put it over the water, it sucks up [see pic] and that was our waterspout there.

Christchurch
In the morning, open up the bedroom curtains [gestures doing so], could be a grey start.

Wellington
Some of the wind arrows on the map are green:
Notice the winds, like little green fish swimming about.

Watch on MetService TV.

Radio New Zealand
Dan was talking about waterspouts on Morning Report:

Low level buoyancy:
Think of it like bouncing a ball.

Think of having a hoover, you suck up the water.

Listen here.

TVNZ
There was also a brief glimpse of Dan on TVNZ's Breakfast, holding a cake during a segment about Bob McDavitt's retirement, 3m 30s in.

11th January

RadioLIVE
Dan was on RadioLIVE:
This little wiggly weather system, it doesn't do much, it's just almost like a strung out piece of spaghetti.

Blocking highs are like fat lazy lumps, they don't like to move, they just like to sit there. But this weather system is developing in the Tasman, he's got a good bit of kick to it so it's going to work its way in, almost like giving a workboot right up the backside to this blocking high.

Gasp!

National
That weather system really winds up. You think of it almost like pulling a lawnmower string and you go, pshoom! [gestures pulling lawnmower string] Off it goes.

Auckland
We've had quite a few weather systems working their way across. You almost need a scorecard [scorecard gesture - see pic] to keep an eye on the different weather systems that are working through.

Wellington
We've managed some dry spells over the past couple of days but it's almost been shoehorned [shoehorning gesture] in-between different weather systems so you almost need a scorecard [scorecard gesture] to keep an eye on the different weather systems.

Watch these while you can at MetService TV.

30th December

Radio New Zealand
Here's Dan on Radio New Zealand talking about the forecast rain:

It's almost imagine like somebody that's trying to blow out a fire, they finally run out of breath at the end and then they just [imitates someone out of breath] - out of breath. That's what the weather system will be like by Sunday and Monday.

You imagine taking a wet sponge, squeeze it against a wall and the moisture just comes out.

Radio New Zealand helpfully provide a range of listening options. The bit with Dan is 35s in.

19th December

National Weather Update
Doesn't seem very 'national' to me; in fact, it's identical to the Christchurch forecast.

We are encouraged to think of a ridge of high pressure 'like a big bubble' and Dan gives us two nods with his point at the end.

Auckland
After quite a soggy weekend, the low pressure, we've finally kicked it out the barn door [gestures doing so].

Not sure why I was tickled by Dan's 'towards Christmas' at the end. Tried to screengrab it, but it doesn't do the video justice.

Wellington
Some better weather? It's sitting on the doorstep, it's gonna be heading in.

Radio New Zealand
Dan appears on Radio New Zealand's Morning Report to discuss the Christmas weather prospects:

If you could think probably going back maybe five days ago, if you could imagine for all the children and Father Christmas if he was planning for his visits to New Zealand, last week he probably would've had his wet-weather gear, his wellies, packed in the back of his sleigh. At least I think maybe in the next couple of days he's probably looking at things and saying, 'ah, perhaps it's the tropical shirt, the shorts and maybe even the jandals.'

Hopefully we can just coax that high into just hanging on or almost sort of grab a coat hook, put it in the centre of the high and say, 'hey, hang on a couple of days more please.'

Radio New Zealand helpfully provide a range of listening options, including downloading this gem as MP3.

19th May

Well, I was not expecting to have something to blog about quite so soon; Dan was on the radio overnight last night. Absolutely no mention of his departure, though...

Radio Bristol
Our weather, it's almost like a roller-coaster ride of sorts.

Maybe you're already thinking, planning, are we going to put things in the picnic basket this weekend or is it just going to be the wellies? I think you might be doing the first one, in fact.

You look at this weather front and you say, 'well, it looks like quite a beefy-looking thing coming down'. Think of it as like a big blue piece of plasticine coming down and you sort of roll it out slowly and as you do it stretches and becomes thinner and thinner.

It could be a good dollop of rain, maybe the plants in the garden are sort of sitting there saying, [adopts 'parched' voice] 'come on, give us some water'.

After the forecast there was mention of cauliflower thunderstorms with a couple of sound effects.

Trevor Fry: Are you with us tomorrow, Daniel?

Dan: No, I'm not.

Listen again, 59 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

Radio Devon
There might just be a few spots of rain on what is left on the big band of rain ... because we just sort of [makes sucking noise] sucked all of the energy out of the weather system.

Listen again, 1h 40m in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

Radio 2: Janice Long
You have a big lump of plasticine, a big fat blue blob and you just sort of take it, you roll it out a bit [you can hear Dan rubbing his hands together like he's rolling some invisible plasticine], make it thin and thin. The next thing you know, you can't see the damn thing, it's so long and stringy.

Big lump of rain that comes into Scotland and then all the energy just goes, shooom, straight into the North Sea.

Another weather front:
A bigger lump this time, a bigger lump of blue plasticine so to speak and just, whum, across the British Isles, pretty quickly, but he doesn't hang about, he's almost like catching the number seven bus and, shiiing, there he goes.

Listen again, 1h 15m in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

Dan might've been on Up All Night on 5 Live, but the last 55 minutes are missing from the show on the iPlayer, so your guess is as good as mine - unless you heard it go out live.

18th May

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
A weather system slowly sinking south ... you think of it like, you go to the playschool, you nick some blue plasticine, that's your lump of rain and you make a big fat blob of it of sorts.

As it eases its way south, just think about pulling it apart, you stretch it, you roll it out a bit more and you put a rolling pin on it, so by the time it gets to the Midlands, down towards the south-east, it's just a thin little thing, you can almost sort of barely see it.

Unfortunately, the plants in the garden are going to go, 'huhuhu, give us some water!'

The weather front eases through, bye bye to him, he's going away.

We clear the skies and the temperatures go, shoom, straight down.

Thursday you might even be able to put a tick next to it now and say, 'yeah, it's a packed lunch day.'

A quick peek if you want to wonder about the weekend already, maybe planning, maybe going to the neighbours for a barbecue or thinking of it or perhaps just head out to the park.

The typical up-and-down roller-coaster ride with the weather, but today is a blue plasticine day with a big lump of wet that becomes a thin skinny thing.

Chris: Intelligent, enthusiastic, entertaining and, above all, unique. Dan Corbett, for the last time, thank you very much indeed. We salute you.

Dan: That's the weather, for now.

Later:
Chris: If there are any reasons to get him on over the course of the coming months we will try and link up with him in New Zealand, get him on the show occasionally. Good man, Dan Corbett.

Listen again, 41 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

UPDATE 17/5/12: There's video (well, audio), below.

5 Live: Breakfast
30 minutes in, it's Rachel Burden's turn to be shocked at the news of Dan's departure:
This is very sad news, I was unprepared for this ... This is a bombshell, Dan Corbett.

Another hint, this time from Dan, that this isn't the last we'll hear from him:
With any luck you might know the person who's the forecaster for the Rugby World Cup.

Then the forecast:
Maybe you're sitting in the garden across the south east, you look at the veggie patch or something or just your farm and you say, 'we really could do with some rain, we really could use some rain'.

The weather front:
There's not really much oomph left on it. It's almost like having a neon light, you flick the switch, foom, turn it off, that's it.

If you're gonna stand there with the umbrella and the wellies, say, in London, you might be lucky.

Thursday, put a check next to that day, it's a dry day, it's a fine day.

1 hour 28 minutes in:
Get to about lunchtime, maybe you're heading out for a packed lunch or something, or maybe grabbing a sandwich from the office, you'll see some rain.

1 hour 59 minutes in, after a report about penguins:
Not quite penguin weather, but it's not a bad-looking day.

2 hours 29 minutes in. The weather front:
Just like pulling a piece of blue plasticine apart, it's a big thick wodge and you go, chwww, stretch it.

I think you might still need the old watering can on the garden.

Thursday though, by-and-large, it's just a decent dry day. You can put a tick next to the day and say, 'yeah, it's a good day for the outside'.

Rachel: Thank you very much for your authority and gentle eloquence.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Victoria Derbyshire
Victoria tells us this was supposed to be Dan's penultimate broadcast. It ended up being his last due to Prime Minister's Questions. :'-(

Maybe you're standing there looking at the raindrops fall past the window.

The weather front:
The main energy from it is just taking a jet plane and going, fyooow, straight into the North Sea.

Listen again, 1 hour 30 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

17th May

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
I think today it's just one of those days where if you look back maybe in a couple of days' time at the end of the week and you look at the various days of the week, if you had a lovely blue sky day you put a big smiley next to that, big big smiley. If you had a horrible rainy day you'd put a, grrr, kind of a frown day, unless you wanted rain. But today will just sort of be in-between, a little smile, a little chappie but nothing big, just one of those in-between days. We've got one weather front that's sinking south, almost like a neon light, we pull the plug and [makes un-transcribeable noise] it just died, so it's just lost its oomph, not much moisture. But there is some leftover cloud, so you step to the outside or maybe pull back the bedroom curtain and you'll go, 'eeeurgh'. It's just cloud, don't worry about it, it's alright.

You're outside maybe heading to the park with friends for a packed lunch or something or maybe just stuck in the office and you're looking outside the window and you still see it, eeeurgh, yucky, cloudy.

The weather front:
Once again we sort of [sucking noise] suck all the energy out of it.

It's almost like you need that scorecard again.

Chris: Amazing, Dan, thank you very much, the best for a long time.

Listen again, 41 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Breakfast
30 minutes in:
It's one of those in-between weather days and you say, 'well, what on earth is that?' It's in-between. It's in-between two different weather systems or it's not too sunny, it's not too wet, it's just really in-between. So you start off the day, you pull back the kitchen window curtains and you might say, 'yeah, it's cloudy'.

1 hour 30 minutes in:
How ever you want to slice it, you might put a halfway smiley face next to the day and say, 'yes, it's OK.'

The one thing you will notice, we don't have that breeze, probably blowing your hat down the road yesterday.

2 hours 30 minutes in:
One thing you will notice, the wind won't be as strong as yesterday, so the hat won't be blowing down the road.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Victoria Derbyshire
35 minutes in:
Like you pull a plug on the old light socket and it just dies, that's what happens to the wet weather.

1 hour 27 minutes in, Dan delivers the shocking news:
Victoria: Is it your second-to-last day today?

Dan: It is.

Victoria: Where are you going?

Dan: New Zealand.

Victoria: Who said? Who said you could?!

Dan: I'm sorry.

Victoria: What's going on there?

Dan: Erm, the weather's nice.

Victoria: Not all the time ... we want you to stay, we like you a lot. So, go on, what's happening in New Zealand?

Dan: I'm going to another job, to work for the MetService, to be their media communications liaison type-thing.

Victoria: So you're not actually doing forecasting?

Dan: I am but I won't be on television. I'll be more-or-less doing interviews and talking about storms and things like that or lovely sunny weather down there.

Victoria: Wow. How fabulous. So, when are you actually getting on the plane? And who is going with you?

Dan: My wife, and probably the end of the month.

Victoria: Are you nervous?

Dan: Nervous, excited, all wrapped in, yes.

Victoria: Is it a permanent job or is it a one-year contract, or-?

Dan: No, it's permanent.

Victoria: [gasps] Are you never coming back?!

Dan: Well, if people remember back in 2000 when I left the BBC the last time ... I went to the States and after 4 years there I came back.

Never say never, eh?

Victoria: Good for you, even at your age, opportunities keep happening.

Cheeky monkey. He's not that much older than she is!

Then the forecast:
Maybe you're sitting in your garden looking at some of the plants and they're just withering, saying, 'when are we going to get some rain?'

After the forecast we hear Dan's going to Wellington.
:'-(

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Shelagh Fogarty
The cloud just sort of lurking there, like someone's taken a sheet and gone, fmmmph, across the British Isles.

Listen again, 30 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

16th May

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
You might just peek out the window and see the cloud and go, 'eeeh, yeah'.

Then this weather front just goes shoom, straight down towards the southern counties of England. Think of it like a neon light that's sort of glowing, zzzh, and that's what our weather front is. By the time it gets down to the southern counties of England think of a neon light that somebody turns it off, zzzhup! It just goes off.

Answers on a postcard please:
If you're looking for some rain for your garden you might be waving the flag or something, you might still be there.

Can't ever recall a forecast with 'that's the weather, for now' twice at the end of the forecast before. Shockingly, Chris wasn't paying attention.

Listen again, 43 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Breakfast
Many might peek out the window this morning, you might look at the grey skies and go, 'uuuurgh, it's a yucky Monday morning,' no, it's not looking too bad.

Listen again, 30 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

13th May

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
Has somebody been playing games with us? It's almost like somebody's used the same weather map five days in a row. But it's actually each day we've had the low pressure just sitting there and you think by the weekend it might've finally got the hint and said, 'go on, go away!'.

We take this cluster of showers, almost look at it and imagine it was just like measles bubbling up on the weather map of sorts.

Saturday you're thinking, 'ah, let's head out, wash the car or just a nice day out to the park,' there will be some showers about.

Verbatim:
It's almost like the sort of weather where you need a scorecard, you want to mark off one weather system, two weather system and each day because there is so many or at least sort of different lumps of wet weather.

Chris seems to think Dan sounds like Stanley Unwin. I'm not convinced.

New listeners to Chris's show (I'm one of them; I came for Dan's forecasts and now stay for the show) have been given some homework; find another new listener. So when you listen to this on the iPlayer, don't switch off after Dan (42 minutes in). My favourite post-forecast feature is the 100 Club - a search for numbers from 100 to 1 in song. We're currently up to 79, so it'll be some time yet before we get to seven, eight, nine, perhaps ten.

5 Live: Breakfast
28 minutes in:
You'll look at the clouds by mid-afternoon they'll look like big lumps of cauliflower.

Sorry, I have no idea what the following conversation is about. Something to do with poet versus caveman? 1 hour 32 minutes in:
Rachel Burden: I have it here; it is Wladimir Klitschko versus Vernon Kay, it is Richard Burton versus Richard Bacon, it's Nick Duncalf versus Dan Corbett.

Dan: Well, which one are you, Nick?

Nick: I think we all know your weather reports, we know you're the poet.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Shelagh Fogarty
If you're wondering whether it's gonna be a picnic basket weekend or the brollies it could be a combination of both.

After the forecast:
Shelagh: You should be a weatherman and a life planner at the same time because your weather forecasts always come with a suggestion about what to do depending on the weather. Maybe a picnic, maybe a raincoat.

Listen again, 34 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

12th May

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
There was a brilliant e-mail from a listener for Dan at the start, made solely of Dan-ish sound-effects.

Chris then asked if Dan could put a washing machine into today's forecast. Dan had planned to put a bicycle in:
This is just a pretty ordinary bicycle of sorts but you have to think about when you have a nice new bicycle for instance, you have the wheels, you've got the centre of the wheel, you've got the spokes.

You might remember, two or three days ago we took some of the glue, we nicked it from the Blue Peter garden, from the workshop there and we put it on the back of the low and went, pppt, right on the weather map.

You almost think of the centre of the low as maybe the middle of a bicycle wheel and you've obviously got the spokes. The bicycle wheel's been spinning for the past couple of days, it's just the one wheel, and all the little spokes represent little lumps of cloud, little lumps of rain and little lumps of energy spinning around. The bicycle wheel, or the low, is stuck on the weather map so that's the weather today and yesterday and even tomorrow, the bicycle wheel will spin round spokes of little areas of cloud and some showers will work round, not all of us seeing them and the closer you are to the centre of the bicycle wheel ... the better chance you have of seeing the showers.

If you're looking in the garden or you've been out there in the last couple of days sort of sitting there next to the plants and sort of saying, 'come on, yeah, yeah, let's get some rain! How about some rain?!' and you don't really get any. Well, it'll again be one of those days where there'll just be hit-and-miss showers, you'll almost look at the clouds and they almost start off as flat pancakes into the afternoon, two-, three o'clock they get lumpy and bulbous and those are the bigger ones that start to develop as showers and sometimes even in the atmosphere they're thinking about it, they're thinking of developing as showers and they're saying, 'nah, not today, we'll just do it another day or something' and the showers don't develop.

The bicycle wheel is still stuck on the weather map of sorts with the spokes of showers spinning around. By the weekend, yeah, maybe just in time we might dislodge the low, the little bicycle wheel and just take it and throw it in the back of the garden or something.

Car-wash day; I'd pick Sunday of the two days if you are washing the car or maybe, in my case, the car just gets mucky and doesn't get washed.

That's the weather, bicycle wheel and all, for now.

Chris: It's like listening to a man have a breakdown.

Chris says he'll reveal who he thinks Dan sounds like tomorrow.

Listen again, 41 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Breakfast
29 minutes in:
It's almost like, think of a bicycle wheel, you have the wheel, you have the spokes and that low sitting there is the centre of the bicycle wheel and the spokes are little pieces of energy or little areas of showers spinning their way round across the British Isles.

59 minutes in, before the forecast:
Rachel Burden: That was Ian Lloyd, royal historian, on the Queen, now the world's second longest reigning monarch in a thousand years of British history. Daniel Corbett, reigning [or did she mean 'raining'?] weatherman here at 5 Live.

After the forecast, Mr Campbell calls him 'the earl of the isobars'.

1 hour 30 minutes in:
We still have the same area of low pressure that's been sitting to the north of Scotland over the past couple of days, spinning around, almost like a bicycle wheel.

1 hour 58 minutes in:
High pressure is sitting off to the west and it's just sitting there, almost like waiting for a bus.

2 hours 33 minutes in:
Showers, think of it almost like boiling a pot on the stove. Where do the first bubbles pop up? They're all hit and miss, they're random - and that's what showers are like.

Through the day, the showers will bubble up. Just think of them like bubbles in a saucepan and through the afternoon they'll grow.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Your Call
Low pressure:
It will still be spinning around, almost like a car that is stuck in the mud.

Listen again, 34 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Shelagh Fogarty
If you look at the weather map right now you'd almost say, 'well, it looks like the radar's got some measles or something.'

You look at the cloud, they look like big lumps of cauliflower, those are the meatier showers developing.

Listen again, 30 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

11th May

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
Chris asks Dan where he lives:
Did you not realise that we have these camp beds at the top of the Weather Centre? And there's a long flagpole that comes down and that's where you sort of shimmy down like a fireman's pole and, yes, we turn up at about half four and then we get ready and we just sort of perform.

Then the forecast:
We've has the area of low pressure that's been sitting to the north and the west of the British Isles and you go, 'uuurgh, gosh'. But you almost have to think of it, have you ever, you get up at the weekend and you're sort of just about to do your washing and you're just putting in the powder and all of a sudden you've got the bits of clothing spinning around and that's like, think of the area of low pressure, you've got lumps of clothing spinning around the washing machine, blmblmblm as they go.

Through the heating of the day it just sort of bubbles up these lumps of cloud or bits of clothing goes blm and bubbles up some showers.

There are a few showers already closer to the centre of the low, or closer to the centre of the washing machine.

As we get to the heating of the day and you've probably noticed if maybe you're out-and-about, middle of the day, grabbing that sandwich or something you just see the clouds they just start getting a bit more like lumpy, like lumps of cauliflower instead of the flat pancake sorts that you have in the morning because the cloud bubbling up saying, 'ha ha, I'm going up' and then it just bubbles into a big lump of cauliflower and then it develops the showers.

The showers are:
Hit-and-miss, just sort of dots here and there like bubbles bubbling up in a saucepan of sorts.

That low still spinning around like you put the washing machine on the moderate cycle today and it's going [makes un-transcribeable washing machine noise here] with the the showers.

Listen again, 44 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Breakfast
Showers:
Will bubble themselves up like looking at a pan bubbling the water on a stove and you sort of see the bubbles coming up and that's what it'll be like through the afternoon.

And again, about showers:
It's almost like taking flecks of paint and throwing them at a weather map.

Listen again, 2 hours 27 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Your Call
The low is spinning itself up, almost like pulling a top and, shiiing, off it goes.

Listen again, about 27 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

10th May

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
We've still got the same area of low pressure. You can almost imagine you take a big L and you stick it on the weather map, take some sticky glue and maybe nick it from the Blue Peter studio or something, sort of say, 'I'll take that, yes please' and go pthhhh, stick the low on the weather map and then just put little arms of rain that'll spin round it and that's what's going to be happening over the next couple of days, one little arm of rain, almost like a three-legged octopus as I like to call it. One little tentacle of sorts will bend a band of rain across Northern Ireland and parts of Scotland.

We have a whole shower machine going on. Remember we talked about yesterday, like a big pot of water, put it on the stove and it's a really high burner and you put it on the stove and all of a sudden the bubbles come up and you watch them go [makes bubbling noise] and it's really hot and that's almost like what showers are, they're just unstable air, and then in the afternoon, vfff, there they go.

All of the showers go away, we turn them off at night, almost like flicking off the switch of the light and then we start it up again as we work into Wednesday, flick the switch and all of a sudden the burner comes on and the bubbles start to go, brrr, into the afternoon.

After an understated 'that's the weather, for now', Chris and Slev try to persuade Dan to join Twitter. It doesn't seem like he's that interested in Twitter, claiming he'd have nothing to say.

NOTHING TO SAY?! PAH! This is Daniel Corbett, the man who ALWAYS has something interesting to say.

I do understand Dan's reticence, it took me a while to 'get' Twitter, but now I love it. He should just join and lurk. I'm sure he'd get into it eventually and then tweet weather ~isms all day.
Imagine THAT!

Listen again, 40 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Breakfast
30 minutes in:
The cloud will bubble up and become the big lumpy bits of cauliflower cloud of sorts.

2 hours 29 minutes in:
Maybe you head off to work thinking, 'haha, it's going to be a nice day!' Stick the umbrella in the bag just in case because with the air unstable the clouds will bubble up just like they did the past couple of days almost like lumps of cauliflower into the afternoon.

These showers of the day tend to die away, they lose their heat of the day, it's like you flick a switch, phoom, and they just turn off at night.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Your Call
Low pressure still sitting to the north and the west of the British Isles and just think of it like a big tentacled octopus of sorts, sending in bands of rain.

Listen again, 36 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Victoria Derbyshire
Low pressure still to the north and the west and it's like a big washing machine spinning round the lumps of moisture, spinning round the showers.

Listen again, about 1 hour 31 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

9th May

Bit of a culinary theme today.

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
After a discussion about ironing and packing (and yet more shocking language from Dan!):
We have low pressure that sits off to the west and you almost want to think of it like if you've ever cooked your dinner maybe and you have a pot of boiling water, if you take it off the stove and the burner is blazing hot and all of a sudden you put the pot back right on it, the bubbles go blblblblblblbl, bubble straight up and that's going to be the atmosphere today. So it's a quiet, gentle, lovely, clear start to the day and this pot, we're going to bring it in from the north and the west, the unstable air, and then all of a sudden turn the burner on and, vmmm, up will go the showers.

You'll always know when you look at the clouds and you start seeing lumps of cauliflower, that's always a good idea that the showers are close by, as opposed to the flat pancake ones, those are the happy ones, they're just 'huh' and hanging out.

Temperature-wise, it's almost where it says so on the side of the can for this time of year.

So as we work into the night-time hours, almost like bubbling up your spaghetti in the evening, the pot boiling away, those are the showers. And then you turn it off, chmmm, it goes off and you take the pan off and so you watch the bubbles just disappear, so those are the showers, they die away. And then we get into Tuesday, so one little dangly weather front easing in, you almost think of it like a big blue three-legged octopus sitting to the west of the British Isles.

We go to Wednesday, that low, that three-legged octopus is still bending in some bits of rain.

Listen again, 42 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

From the programme description:
An odd start to the week thanks to BBC weatherman Dan Corbett (he's here all week).

5 Live: Breakfast
30 minutes in:
There's low pressure sitting off to the west and you almost think of it like, er, well, if you're ever boiling up some spaghetti in the evening, you take a pot and you have a big burner there and you sort of take the pot and you put it on the burner and the bubbles just sort of go, blll, that's what's gonna happen today.

The clouds, when they start looking like lumps of cauliflower, yeah, that's when they mean business.

1 hour 30 minutes in:
After a discussion about how well Cheryl Cole's accent will be understood by a US audience, Dan retells the brilliant 'stroke' anecdote:
When I worked at a television station in Waco, Texas, within the first week of working there the TV station had a phone call from a viewer and the viewer phoned in, nice lady, she said, 'um, your weatherman is nice but, you know,' in a Texas accent [adopts The Accent] 'but how long has it been since his stroke? He speaks so funny he must'a had some sort of stroke.'

Rachel Burden: Daniel, I think we see a role for you in coaching Cheryl through these difficult times as she breaks the States.

Dan: No, I'd have her throwing all sorts of weather bits in.

Rachel: Where The Beatles have been first, Daniel Corbett followed.

Then the forecast:
Weather-wise today, if you're already looking outside or maybe you're sort of pulling back the kitchen window curtains and say, wow, it's a nice-looking day.

2 hours 30 minutes in:
For many, sort of heading back to work and you think, 'uuurgh, gosh' but you look outside and see a lovely-looking day.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Victoria Derbyshire
We've got some showers today, it's almost like the showers bubbling up as the temperatures start to warm. Think of it like a pot of soup, you boil it on the stove, you turn the stove on high and, vmmm, the bubbles start to form in the soup.

Listen again, 1 hour 35 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

6th May

5 Live: Morning Reports
After a piece about chimp gestures:
If there were any chimps out in parts of Scotland today they'd probably have one gesture and that'd be holding an umbrella, if they could.

Listen again, about 7 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
It's Farming Friday on the show this morning. Chris asks Dan if he can do the weather 'in a Countryfile style'.

Dan mis-heard:
I thought you said in a country voice.

He needed little encouragement to do the entire forecast in The Accent:
If you're doin' some haybalin' you'll be alright I think.

Hey, watch out tonight, we've got some more rain comin' in. This'll be like thundery stuff y'know, creepin' up to western areas. I think further east you'll be OK but by the time we get to Saturday mornin' we'll be lookin' at some more rain so I think you'll be bringin' the cows in pretty early and they'll be goin' ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHH! when they see the rain out-and-about.

If you're out in the paddock or somethin', just wear your wellies cos it's gonna be real wet and kinda [makes a sound effect like a saw here. For humidity? Not quite sure] by the later parts of the day.

Chris: Dan Corbett, what a Friday treat.

Listen again, 40 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Breakfast
28 minutes in. Rain is forecast:
You can almost see the plants going, 'yeah-hey!' if they could.

1 hour 30 minutes in:
If you're thinking of washing the car you'll go, 'uh-uh, no'.
Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

26th April

5 Live: Morning Reports
I think some of us might step to the outside this morning and go, 'oooh, gosh!'. A different feel.

Listen again, 28 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
After a discussion about Twitter:
Chris: I had the pleasure of stumbling across the Dan Corbett fan tribute Twitter site.

Dan: Ah, yes.

Chris: The 'That's The Weather, For Now' pages, which lead to transcriptions of your broadcasts, Dan.

Dan: Well, this will be put down in history, this broadcast, even now as we speak.

Chris: As we speak it's being catalogued and no doubt later it will appear word-for-word online.

Woah! Meta.

After they'd finished talking about me (there was more); the forecast:

I think we're going to have to be busy with the old levers in the Weather Centre.

You might step outside, maybe across the East Midlands and you might just go, 'wooargh, gosh'.

There could be the risk of some showers for the Royal Wedding, but we are trying to work with the levers in the Weather Centre and just sort of tweak them so maybe we can slow that weather system down.

We bring in that weather system that's sort of sitting across the near continent and now he's going to slowly march his way in almost like sort of just bending his arm breuugh, like that.

The twenties, we've just sort of taken, put them on the side and they're just gonna sit there on the shelf for a few days.

Later, Chris tells us that was Dan's last 6 Music forecast for a while.

Listen again, about 41 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Breakfast
30 minutes in:
Remember last week we had that lovely warm conveyor of air feeding the warm air from the continent? It's almost like somebody today, they've turned it round, put it into reverse and now it's the cooler air working in across the British Isles. And some of you might step outside this morning and ... you might go, 'phwoo, boy! I think I need a fleece.'

59 minutes in:
Michael Fish does the weather with Dan apparently 'hiding under the desk if I go and say anything wrong.'

Legends, the pair of 'em.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

And there's video:

25th April

Another Bank Holiday, another pre-recorded Chris Hawkins show on 6 Music :-(

5 Live: Breakfast
30 minutes in:
Anyone thinking, 'ah, today's gonna be great, barbecue out there, it'll be into the twenties, really nice,' yes, in some areas.

You might be seeing some rain patter against the window panes if you're looking out the kitchen window, say, in the central lowlands.

Then, voilà, brighter skies for the afternoon.

2 hours 32 minutes in:
Weather-wise we've got a bit of a roller-coaster ride. Remember last week we were slowly creeping up the hill with the temperatures ... and I think now we've already hit the top bit. Now we're going to slowly descend down over the next few days [roller-coaster gesture - see pic], so remember what the twenties feel like if you have them today, we're going to put them on the shelf for a few days.

For some of us it's a lovely day, across England and Wales you pull back the bedroom curtains, you've gone, 'wow! Nice day!'

The main energy of the weather front:
Will be well east into the North Sea, it will be almost already on a ship going well east.

Tempted into the garden again, it should be quite nice, or a trip to the park.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Your Call
High pressure says, by the middle part of the week, 'I'm coming back,' and it does.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

22nd April

Unfortunately, Chris Hawkins' show was pre-recorded this morning, so no forecast or musical extravaganza for us.

5Live: Breakfast
Just before 29 minutes in:
The smog, the easiest way to think of it is; imagine if somebody took a conveyor belt, you put one end of the conveyor belt across northern France, the other piece is across southern Britain and somebody's sort of put it on medium-fast over the past couple of days and the warm air, vmmm, vmmm, it's just coming in. But at the same time we've had high pressure over the North Sea. Think of high pressure as high pressure. It's like almost hands pushing down on the atmosphere or almost like if you've ever cooked a big stew or something, you put a lid on top of it and all the bubbles that come up, the steam, it just sits in there. Imagine the high pressure is just putting a lid over the UK.

1 hour 59 minutes in:
You can already see people maybe they've already dusted off the barbecues.

I was watching that one live on the webcam. It was great to see this ~ism accompanied by little dusting gesture.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

21st April

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
There's a discussion about Darren Bett's hair, during which Dan talks about his own hair:
I know my hair is grey and I joke around like it's a wig sometimes ... I take it off and spin it in the tumble-drier in the morning.

Then the forecast:
It's almost like somebody's taken a big conveyor belt and they've put one end of the conveyor belt across northern France and the other piece, the other end of the conveyor over southern Britain and you have lumps of warm air, just put 'em on the conveyor belt and VHUM! VHUM! VHUM! They just keep feeding in.

If you're expecting maybe on the Yorkshire coast, pull back the curtains, see bright blue sky and you see the cloud and you go, 'u-u-urgh!'.

A decent sort of day. If you're out-and-about in the morning or maybe standing at the bus stop, if you've already been out with an extra coat and you just think, 'I don't need this' you're just carrying it to work in the morning.

If you've had the week off maybe you're out with the family or maybe you're even thinking, 'no, I'm not gonna go to work today', maybe just a long weekend.

That conveyor or warm air still feeding in. It's like they've put it on a good medium to fast speed and it's just VHUM! VHUM! sending in the warm lumps of air.

The piano has gone (Carol Kirkwood complained, apparently) so Dan was on the organ this morning. I was hoping for Metronomy but we got MGMT instead.

Listen again, 41 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Breakfast
29 minutes in:
That warm conveyor from the north-western parts of Europe, it's on medium to fast speed pumping in the warm air.

The cloud, if you've noticed over the past couple of days, it just bubbled up like lumps of cauliflower. It's just trying to squeeze out the odd shower but, heh, trying.

59 minutes in:
After discussing a certain footballer's slump:
Phil Williams: Let's talk to a weather forecaster on top form, here's Dan Corbett.

Dan: The weather's not in a slump, it's doing really well. Twenty-six degrees, yes. I think the outdoor plans, your picnic basket, whatever you've got, it's gonna be a nice day.

1 hour 29 minutes in:
If you are planning outdoor plans, thinking the neighbours come round for a barbecue or something, I think you'll be in decent shape really.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Your Call
Over the next couple of days, even if you are heading away or something, Grandma's or whatever, taking the family away, you've got a nice spell for the most part.

Listen again, 27 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Gabby Logan
Gabby: Is it the weather for running through the meadows in a floaty skirt with a hamper on your arm?

Dan: You could, I won't [much hilarity in the studio here]. Thank you for the suggestion, but I won't.

Gabby: I was trying to hand over to you in your own poetic style.

Dan: I think for me it'll just be maybe the picnic basket. My wife and I will just have a couple of glasses of white wine or something, we'll be fine.

We all know what Gabby's doing this afternoon anyway. It really will be pleasant. It's that ridge of high pressure sitting to our east in a big conveyor of warm air just feeding its way in, fmmm, fmmm, fmmm, it keeps coming.

If you are sort of planning already, been wheeling that rusty barbecue into the garden, do it, because it should be fine. And even Saturday and Sunday temperatures should be well into the twenties. [Referring to Gabby's initial comment] So, what time will we be going?

Gabby: With my floaty skirt.

Someone in the studio (possibly Martin? Unfortunately, I wasn't watching this live) suggested that for the next Comic Relief, 'Daniel versus Stuart Hall in a describe off'.

Gabby: Ohhh, yes. And they've got to swap genres as well. You've got to do football and he's got to come in and do the weather. That would be wonderful, yes.

Dan: Have you ever seen Alistair McGowan do- oh, he goes on about me?

Gabby: You're in his stand up, aren't you? [others in the studio can be heard to comment, 'really?!', 'you've arrived!']. He was on the Live at the Apollo recently and there was a whole Daniel Corbett section.

Dan was about to say something here but was interrupted by someone asking, 'Does he do you better than you?'

Dan: [short pause] Um, he's not bad, he's getting better.

Very diplomatic answer.

Listen again, about 33 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

And, in case you haven't seen it yet, here's THAT impression.

20th April

WHAT!?! NO SIX MUSIC!?! OUTRAGEOUS!

He was covering a 'staffing crisis' apparently. Although @milgreen wondered if perhaps it was piano practice instead ;-)

Shipping Forecast
Some SMALL consolation for lack of 6 Music awesomeness, the ever-soothing shipping forecast.

Listen again, 1 minute in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Breakfast
High pressure, when it parks off to the east it brings the warm air right from the continent almost like a conveyor belt.

Listen again, 59 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5live: Your Call
A day you just want to be out there with a sandwich just having a nice day in the park.

Listen again, 32 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Victoria Derbyshire
31 minutes in:
You imagine a big warm conveyor belt sort of sitting- you put one end across the north-west parts of France, the other end across southern Britain and you just go, vvvv.

Victoria: Oooh, I love your analogies.

Then;
Just the day you want to be outside. Head to the park, you grab your sandwich, nip away from work for a time.

1 hour 34 minutes in:
You can already see some of the picnic baskets in the park.

Just the day where you sort of peek to the window and say, 'yeah, looks nice outside'. It certainly is.

Listen again, about 27 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

19th April

5Live: Morning Reports
I think weather-wise, many of us might be thinking of a packed lunch in the park.

Listen again, 28 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
How about everyone about half twelve or so, head out to the park. Nice day for a packed lunch, you know. If you're sitting in work and you've maybe got a horrible week or something, just give yourself half an hour, an hour, just grab a sandwich or something and head out because it's gonna be a nice day. It's one of those days where, if you are stuck in the office and you look out the window and say, 'yeah, I wonder if it's nice?' Yeah, it will be nice.

You'll get to the middle part of the day and it'll be really nice and if you are one of those people who dash out for a quick five minutes, grab a sandwich and go back into the office and sort of huddle in your cubicle or something, you know, it will feel nice outside. Even in the afternoon maybe you might sort of be tempted to sneak home early. I won't say anything, in fact, if you do.

And then you're thinking, well, 'oh, it's only gonna be one day, it'll be gone,' but no actually, the high pressure, remember the last week he was just sort of waiting saying, 'I wanna come in, I've got to hang around for a couple of days'. Well, he's got his chance and he's going to be here.

It's a nice spell of weather, you know. Picnic in the park or whatever.

We're treated to Dan's piano playing again today.

Dan: People might actually start thinking I'm talented.

Chris: Dan, you're oozing talent.

Listen again, about 43 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Breakfast
59 minutes in, after mention of Daleks:
A good-looking day, nothing scary about it at all, it's just going to be nice.

1 hour 28 minutes in:
Very pleasant weather. Nice day for the park or something.

2 hours 29 minutes in:
We've got high pressure sitting to the east of the British Isles and it's almost like imagining a big conveyor belt; the high pressure sits to the east and you have a clockwise flow around it.

As I say, almost like a big conveyor belt, taking that air and spreading it in across the British Isles. We've got a decent couple of days, so if you're sort of thinking, 'yeah, looks nice', well, you know, maybe packed lunch out, the middle of the day, it will be the day certainly.

As I say, almost like a conveyor belt of warm air oozing in across the British Isles. And you might sort of notice that if you're standing at the bus stop in the morning or the platform, you say, 'yeah, it feels OK'.

Phil Williams: What time's your last forecast?

Dan: Today?

Phil: Yeah.

Dan: Oh gosh, twelve-thirty.

Phil: Twelve thirty, so a picnic at one? What do you fancy in your picnic? What do you want? Are you a sandwich man or a salad man or -?

Dan went for the sandwiches.
Phil then asked listeners to text in their picnic essentials, saying, 'Dan's put me right in the mood.'

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Your Call
It's a nice-looking day. Some of us might be tempted to dust off a picnic basket today or even over the next couple of days.

Listen again, 30 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

18th April

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
We had high pressure sitting, waiting in the wings. It wanted to come on but it just needed the indication just to say, 'yeah, now's the chance'.

It's not too chilly as well; just sort of a light jacket, boom, you're done.

There's one little piece of energy in the atmosphere that's sort of easing in and just think of these little things floating about if you could and almost think of them as two little sets of hands. This one, a little clump of two hands is going to just creep in from northern France into the southern coasts of England.

As I say, a little piece of energy, think of it as a couple of little hands in the upper levels of the atmosphere creeping in from France and that just sort of maybe squeezes the cloud a bit more than usual, so what it will do, just squeeze a few showers out across maybe the south coast of England for the evening hours. In a similar respect, the heating of the day, as it sort of bubbles up the cloud you could get a few cauliflower sorts of ones.

It's a decent, it's a dry day. It's one of those days where, if you are at work, you're just sort of tempted to say, 'ah, let's go and grab a sandwich, head out to the park'.

There's a weather front, he's sort of draped up to the north and the west and he's going to try and ease his way down, but remember, high pressure is sitting off to the east and he's sort of saying, 'it's my turn, I'm hanging around for a couple of days'. And he will.

It's a decent day and you can even put a little check mark next to, say, Wednesday and say, 'yep, that one's OK as well'. Tomorrow, for instance, some spots could be up to twenty, maybe twenty-two, so you know what that means; you can almost see people at middle of the day maybe out in the park or something. Just pleasant weather and I think Wednesday looks similar and even through the week, if you're sort of planning, 'now, which day are we gonna go off somewhere and do plans?' the week looks pretty dry so outdoor plans in pretty good shape. If you're looking for some rain for the garden, maybe the vegetables, or the beginnings of some, are saying, 'come on, a bit', you might be out there with the watering can, unfortunately.

Listen again, about 41 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Breakfast
It's one of those sort of days over the next couple of days where you're almost sort of tempted- you look at the middle of the day and say, 'it looks nice out there, maybe a packed lunch in the park', very pleasant.

Listen again, 27 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Victoria Derbyshire
The next couple of days you could almost might be tempted to grab the picnic basket and take it to the outside.

Weak weather front trying to come into the picture but high pressure will sort of say, 'uh-uh, hold on'.

Listen again, around 34 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Gabby Logan
Over the next couple of days I think we'll all be tempted at the middle of the day, maybe looking out the office window, saying, 'gosh, it looks nice out there'.

Listen again, 29 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

15th April

5Live: Morning Reports
High pressure is trying to build in and so it's almost wanting to take control and say, 'ha ha, it's my turn'.

Just about squeezes his 'that's the weather, for now' in at the end.

Listen again, 28 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
The weather system sits off, waiting in the wings and all of a sudden it needs its cue to sort of come on stage and that's what's going to happen. In the meantime you've got these two performers, two little dangling weather fronts.

Not a day where you'll say, 'wow, lovely blue skies'.

These weather fronts will slowly ease their way eastwards but, instead of just sort of, you know, they hop on a jet plane and, vvv, off they go, they're just gonna linger a little bit.

High pressure:
He wants to build in, he's just sort of waiting for his cue and I think it's later on Saturday they finally give him the red light and he goes, 'ha ha, I'm coming!' and he finally builds in.

Chris: Bringing the weather to life. Dan Corbett, thank you very much for everything this week. I just wondered - have you got your guitar?

Dan: [heavy sigh] Not again. Maybe people are actually just getting a little bit bored of some daft weatherman sitting there pretending he can play a guitar and everyone one knows that, basically, all I can do is sort of wave my hand in front of a weather map.

Then the guitar is smashed!

Chris: Piano next week, by any chance?

Listen again, about 40 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Breakfast
The trend over the next couple of days is for those weather fronts to more-or-less get a good tap on the shoulder and say, 'come on, time to go'.

Listen again, 30 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

The image there is a screengrab from the 5Live webcam during Gabby Logan's show. Notice the guy on the left there looking on in awe.

14th April

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
Chris asks Dan if he can promise some sunshine.
Well, let me see. Let me just adjust some of these levers in the Weather Centre guru [?] office. Hold on a sec [various untranscribe-able sound effects]. Yeah, OK.

Unfortunately, we hear it'll be cloudy:
You're gonna needs some pretty large scissors or something, or a fan to blow it out of the way.

You wake up in the morning, pull back the bedroom curtains and you're gonna go, 'wuuurgh!'

If you had a map of the UK, you'd take a couple of weather fronts, you go [another difficult to transcribe sound effect], you stick more on either side and you say, 'yeah, that's today's weather.'

We've got this layer of cloud, just sort of sitting like a big- like you've taken a big duvet and gone [yet another untranscribe-able sound effect], right across the British Isles.

We don't really have any wind to sort of, vvvvv, blow the cloud out of the way.

Not a day where you're sort of splashing in the puddles at the bus stop.

Weather fronts are almost like ski slopes; they help the cloud and the moisture go vwooof! Up it goes.

We've had this ridge of high pressure, it's almost like he's had his stage call, he's sort of waiting in the wings and all of a sudden he's going to go, 'ah! It's my turn!' So he's going to start building in for the course of Saturday and, as he does, he takes all this cloud and moisture and everything and just says, 'come on, go away, bye bye'.

It's just one of those days where you maybe wouldn't put a gold star next to the day and say, 'ahhh, lovely day'.

Was that a hint of laughter in Dan's voice there?

Dan: Sorry for the rambling.

Chris: It's never a ramble, always a pleasant story and a journey with you, Dan.

Quite so. Am really loving Dan's 6 Music broadcasts, even though it then means risking brain rot to listen to him on 5Live.

An electric guitar extravaganza today.

Listen again, 42 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

13th April

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
Today is the day we may have circled on the calendar and said, 'oh, it's going to be a different one, it's a wet one today'.

A weather system:
Will just ooze its way in slowly into the western parts of the UK and maybe you sort of imagine it as a big mass of cloud streaming in and then maybe it comes in up the M4 from say, Cardiff towards spots to the east and, all of a sudden, it maybe gets halfway and it says, 'ooh, that looks interesting,' and it makes a right turn.

The weather system, you think of it almost as a big mass of cloud and it's sort of easing up the M4, if it could, and then goes, 'fwooo-hoo!' right turn, and there we are, like it sees something interesting, you know, like you are when maybe you're out sort of touring or something like that.

Some might be out, sh-sh-sh with the scraper on the car. Yeah.

We've got a ridge of high pressure, he's sort of sitting waiting in the wings so to speak , ready to just sort of come and perform perhaps next week and jump in and say, 'ha ha, I'm here!'

It's April, so the weather does one of those roller-coaster rides; it's in, it's out, it's up, it's down and the flowers grow and there we are.

Chris: Dan, I could listen to you all morning.

This morning's guitar extravaganza: Superman!

Listen again, 44 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Breakfast
Today's topic is forgiveness. Should we forgive NC's outburst yesterday?

2h 31m in:
Not one of those days where you'll be huddled in the puddles at the bus stop.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

12th April

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
It's almost like we've taken the calendar, you know, and we were cheating over the past couple of days, somebody sneaked into the room and flicked it ahead a couple of pages to June or July and now we've pulled it back and now it's more likely gonna say April, which is where it should be.

You know when you see the clouds bubble up in the day? Sometimes they're like these big meaty ones like lumps of cauliflower and other days they're just sort of flat, just little paltry, little lumps of almost like flat pancakes.

High pressure:
Trying to ease in and say, 'no, no, no; let's keep it quiet today'.

You'll step out this morning and you'll notice, wooooh, just a different feel because you know how over the weekend it was just, it just felt nice didn't it? You sort of step outside and you say, 'ahhh', but it will be an extra layer morning I think.

Put a circle around tomorrow's day on the calendar, a wet soggy day, maybe even a raindrop or something.

Pull the calendar back to the right page, sort of thing.

Chris: Thank you Dan. Brilliant, as ever. You haven't got that guitar with you again this morning?

Dan: Yes, funny you should ask that, I was actually embarrassing some people in the office yesterday because I started playing it and they said, 'I didn't realise you were quite that skilled,' because most of the time they just think I'm bloody useless.

GASP!

Dan then goes on to teach us how to play the intro to Lemon Jelly's 'Staunton Lick'.

Listen again, 42 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Breakfast
Risked it again today and some radio-rage occurred.

29 minutes in:
It's almost like we've flicked the calendar back from June where it was, say, over the weekend. Now it's April so, yes, it will feel like it should do.

Fourteen for London. Yesterday in London we were nineteen, twenty, so it might just feel that bit different if you're out in the middle of the day for that sandwich, you might say, 'yeah, what's going on?'

59 minutes in:
Shelagh Fogarty: We've had a text about your presentation style. Complimentary, don't worry, I wouldn't read it if it wasn't. 'I love Daniel's presentation style. Who else can give me a forecast with oomph?' says Philip in Bournemouth. So, a bit more oomph please.

Dan: Well, it's like, if you look at the clouds sometimes, you ever see those days where you see those big cauliflower clouds, other times they're just flat like pancakes. The atmosphere, it's got-

Unfortunately, that's as much as we got. No more oomph due to having been INTERRUPTED! GAH!!

Shelagh (who obviously has a very short memory): Lots of oomph, thank you.

2 hours 30 minutes in:
After talk of how things seem smaller now than they did as a child, Shelagh mentions school toilets. Dan says that when he goes to do talks in schools he has to sit on the small chairs to talk to the students.
Dan needs to spend some time with the very youngest classes to discover what a truly tiny chair is.

You just sort of notice the cloud, it becomes like lumps of cauliflower instead of flat pancakes.

Scorn now needs to be poured on Mr. Campbell:
N Campbell: If you were alive in Medieval times you'd've been driven from the village by an angry mob - and drowned - as a necromancer.

GASP! Shame on you, NC. What a horrible thing to say.

If you can bear to listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

11th April

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
We hear Chris had a dream about Dan.
Dan: Have a cup of coffee, you'll be all right.

There'll be a change in the weather:
If you're thinking, well, it's just gonna be doom and gloom; it's not gonna be today.

A weak weather front:
There won't be much oomph on it. It's almost like thinking of the old blue plasticine; a big lump sitting across Scotland, by the time you get it down, you sort of squeeze it out like a rolling pin and it's just a little thin skinny thing you can barely see.

Some cooler air, so you might not be skipping round the garden in the bikini tomorrow.

Lots of weather systems:
One of those weeks where you sort of want to keep a scorecard handy.

Chris asks Dan to dig out an acoustic guitar to play us into the first record.
Dan: I'm actually quite good with a ukulele.

Despite his protestations to the contrary, I suspect this is not entirely true.

Listen again, just before 40 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Breakfast
Yeah, don't faint, I listened (on the iPlayer).

1 hour 29 minutes in:
Weather-wise this past weekend it was almost like somebody took the calendar and sort of pushed it a couple of pages forward to maybe June or July. I think this week, though, it'll probably get pushed a couple of pages back, so we'll probably see it more likely about April where we actually should be for the time of year.

2 hours 32 minutes in:
The whole weather front is losing its oomph. It's like having a big glowing neon light and you just turn the switch and it just, zzzz, fizzles out.

Shelagh Fogarty: Thank you, Dan. Sound effects very welcome. Here's Lynsey; beat that.

Lynsey Hipgrave: I can't, I'm afraid!

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

6th April

UK video forecast
This is the weather front and you say, 'ah, it's not much'. No, because the main energy has gone well through [pushes it away] so think of it as sort of a big fat lump of blue plasticine that you pull apart [gestures doing so - see pic].

23:30 BBC News
Some people are already probably into the picnic baskets or looking for them.

Friday:
If you've got the day off you'll say, 'yeah, this'll be a nice one,' very pleasant for the most part.

More details on the forecast, maybe you are planning a picnic or something, just go online. That's the weather, for now.

23:56 BBC News
You might start off the morning and say, 'uurgh,' a different start.

High pressure builds in and that comes around and sits for a couple of days and says, 'ha ha, I'm here!'

Some nice-looking weather for the next couple of days. You might be tempted to the park, the picnic, you never know.

00:27 BBC News
The way the weather's been going for many of us, I think by now you might've already dusted off the picnic basket, you might be tempted to as well.

If you've got the day off, pfff, decent for the most part.

The high pressure just sort of sits there for a couple of days and says, 'ye-es, nice-looking weather' in fact.

Radio 2: Janice Long
Janice: Are you enjoying your summer?

Dan: I tell you what, it's almost like you flick a light switch you know. One day you're sitting there, 'oh, it's cold', you've got all the layers - and the next thing, fmmm, up it goes and, ooh, all the birds are out, the leaves are starting to bloom and it's like, yes, hehe.

That weather front that was across Scotland, this had a big lump of- think of almost having a big garden hose, you're spraying it, sshhh, then all of a sudden somebody bends the hose, you kink it and all of a sudden the water stops. That's what's going to happen to the weather front; so instead of all the water, it's just going to be a layer of cloud or like a thin hose of sorts.

After we've watched this weather front fizzle out, you'll clear it away from the weather map, you say, 'off you go, that's it, bye bye.' The high pressure comes back in and then it just sort of sits and says, you know, [puts on voice] 'this is gonna be a nice weekend, everyone.'

We get to the weekend and, well, outdoor plans, why not?

You look at the calendar and you say, 'April seven? April eight?' It won't really feel like that ... so deckchairs into the garden or the picnic baskets, you never know.

Janice: Are you a barbecue person?

Dan: I'm good at burning the things, yes. It's like the inferno, it's like, oh no! All the neighbours, they see him, 'oh no, he's at it again!'

Listen again, 1h 13m in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

Europe
Some cooler air diving its way south and east across the eastern parts of Europe, so it's not all picnic weather everywhere.

A bit of wet weather there across parts of Turkey will keep, perhaps, the holidaymakers not at the beach through the course of the day, or at least maybe sort of in and out.

5Live: Up All Night
Think of the big weather systems like a big neon light; it's glowing really brightly and, all of a sudden, you pull the plug on it and it just goes shooom and it just fizzles out.

Listen again, 3h 28m in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

Shipping Forecast
Ahhh, that's better. Listen again, 1 minute in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

3rd April

5Live: Breakfast
After news of Wayne Rooney's swearing:
Phil Williams: Here's Daniel Corbett, never heard a bad word leave his mouth.

Dan: [laughs] I try. You probably haven't been driving with me in a traffic jam ... I'm quieter nowadays, though.

Then the forecast. There will be showers:
So plan accordingly, if you're going to be out maybe washing the car or maybe taking the kids out to the park.

Again, talking of showers:
Almost like little lines of- a couple of soldiers just marching their way through, and you just think of the showers, they bubble up just like fairy cakes in the oven.

Somebody will sit there and sit under a shower and say, 'that Dan Corbett!', you know.

Will Perry: Dermot O'Leary was fascinated by Dan's weather yesterday. He almost carried you out of the building, Dan. He loved you, he was amazed.

Dan: He gave me a thumbs up.

Phil: It's a yes from Dermot for Dan.

Listen again, 29 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

Australasia
Look at the temperature in Wellington; twelve degrees. You can almost see them reaching into the cupboard for a couple of extra layers [gestures doing so - see pic].

Watch this and other World video forecasts here, available until the early hours of tomorrow morning.

2nd April

5Live: Breakfast
You think of a big neon light, that's our weather system that's coming across, glowing, zzzzh, and all of a sudden you just pull the plug on it, chwww, and it just stops.

Listen again, 27 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Christian O'Connell
The weather front further south, there's nothing really on it, it's almost like having a neon light, you sort of plug it in, it goes zzzh, and then you let it go and, tsss, and that's what it is, it dies out.

I was watching this live on the 5Live website (you know my love of watching others' reactions to Dan) and, at this ~ism, show guest Dermot O'Leary punched his chest twice and pointed at Dan, then after the forecast leaned over and gave him a thumbs up.

Listen again, about 32 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

Watch carefully for a brief glimpse or two of Dan:

Dan's also on the World video forecasts today.

25th March

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
Sixteen, seventeen; it's a packed lunch day. Enjoy it, it will be changing on the weekend, not a wash-out but that cold air is coming back, those big blue men from the North Sea, 'ha ha ha, here they come' type thing. So Saturday, you'll wake up, you'll pull back the bedroom curtains, you might go, 'eurrgh!'.

Some interesting weather presentation chat at the start from a listener's question, plus more of the Texan accent again at the end.

Listen again, 41 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Breakfast
For the second time in a week I'm breaking my golden rule of never listening to this programme. Today it's because a little bird told me to.

1 hour 30 minutes in:
If you're already thinking, 'ah, maybe I'll put the deckchairs in the garden', you might just want to say, 'ah, hold on a sec'.

A cooler sort of feel, maybe a fleece or something like that.

Mr. Campbell comments on this: Weather and fashion advice. I love that.

1 hour 59 minutes in:
Rachel Burden: Dan the weatherman is a different kind of legend according to one of our texters. "I'm off to New Zealand soon. I will miss his chirpy, informative broadcasts." Get chirpy with us, Dan.

Dan: Well, it's a nice chirpy day. The birds'd be singing if you could see them today, they'll be sort of saying, 'oooh, it's colder for the weekend'.

2 hours 31 minutes in:
After discussing dancing:
Dan: Don't ask me about dancing. I tried doing a rain dance once, it was very bad - actually an anti-rain dance.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Gabby Logan
This one was a real delight to watch on the 5Live webcam. I never fail to be fascinated by other people's reactions to Dan's broadcasts (see pic) and there were many shared smiles in the studio as Dan was weaving his magic. And there were gestures!

We bring the cloud in, just like pulling a sheet over the bed [there was a definite pulling gesture here].

Different sort of day, you might pull back the bedroom curtains [gestures doing so] and go, 'wow, yeah'.

Gabby: Daniel, I love your lifestyle and clothing tips that are just weaved into your reports ... You've not mentioned parkas for ages, is it parka weather tomorrow?

There then ensues a fleece vs parka debate.

Dan: No, the parkas are the one- you ever seen somebody in the winter dressed up like an Abominable Snowman?

Gabby: We're on different parka wavelengths here, Daniel.

Listen again, 30 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

24th March

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
Chris asks Dan what his middle name is. It's Patrick.
Dan: You have to have something.

Chris tells Dan he likes seeing him on the telly and suggests starting a campaign.
Dan: I have a better face for radio these days.

NO! I do love hearing Dan on the radio - no, let me rephrase that - I love hearing Dan on Chris' 6 Music show, but we do need to see more of him on the telly. Yes, we still have the wonderful sound-effects and incredible ~isms on the radio, but I do miss the gestures and smiles :-(

Then the forecast:
The weekend will be a bit cooler so you might not be sort of tempted to throw the deckchairs into the garden.

Try and get out and grab a packed lunch in the middle of the day or something.

We've still got our ridge of high pressure. Remember on Monday we put some glue on the back of it, it's still sitting on the weather map but the glue is just starting to dry up a bit so the high is just slowly easing away and I think he's going to drip off the weather map.

Spring is always one of those funny times, you think you're done with the cold air but it's always sort of sitting up there saying, 'ha ha, I'm coming back'.

Chris: Thanks, Dan. And that's what?

Dan: That's the weather, for now.

There's a little of what I can only assume is the Texan accent right at the end.

Listen again, about 39 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Gabby Logan
One of those days where you just want to be outside, have a packed lunch.

High pressure, that's easing away, almost waving it goodbye for the time being.

The screengrab there was taken from the 5Live webcam, allowing us a television-style peek inside the studio.

Listen again, about 27 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

Facebook
The following ~ism was posted on the Facebook group 'BBC Weather Man Daniel Corbett Appreciation Society' today:

"It's one of those days where you walk outside and say 'oh hello sun', let's go to the park and have a packed lunch together, it really is most delightful out there!!!" ♥ him... the man is a genius.

I've listened to all Thursday morning's 5Live programmes on the iPlayer (including Breakfast!) and can't find this gem anywhere. Anyone?

23rd March

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
We hear a little about Dan's driving at the start. He learned to drive in New York and has shocked his wife on occasion with sudden road-rage outbursts at the wheel.
He's mentioned this before and I still can't reconcile this image of angry Dan.

Then the forecast:
One of those sort of days in the next day or so people might be tempted to think maybe, you know, you're sitting in the office and you look out the window and you see the sunshine, you say, 'yeah, it looks nice out there'. Maybe you go out for a sandwich, eleven-thirty, twelve o'clock or whatever time it is and you go outside and you go, 'blimey, it's nice' and you just think, you know, gosh, this is going to be a long lunch. It's just going to be one of those days where you just want to sort of nip outside for lunch and just take a packed lunch to the park. It's gonna be a nice day. High pressure is sitting across the UK once again and we've sort of put glue on it on Monday, remember, and just went, pppt, stuck it on the weather map.

So it's Mr. Hawkins out there with the packed lunch or something at twelve-thirty.

Chris picks up on the way Dan says 'thirteen' - and Dan explains it's due to having lived in the States. Apparently our treat for tomorrow is to hear Dan's Texan accent.

Listen again, about 42 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live Breakfast
Yes, I know I don't usually listen to this, but I noticed the presenters were different today, so risked it. The risk paid off.

Just before 31 minutes in:
It could be eighteen degrees in London, so you might be tempted looking out the office window at lunchtime saying, 'wow, it looks nice' and you step outside maybe for that sandwich and say, 'gosh, I don't want to go back in'.

1 hour 32 minutes in:
One of those days where you maybe head out with the light jacket in the morning, you'll be carrying it home.

If you are that sort of type of person, head out for that packed lunch, yeah, it is a nice-looking day.

2 hours 30 minutes in:
With the clearer skies and the light winds overnight, temperatures don't hang about, they go, fyooom, straight down, so that's maybe why it's chilly in the morning standing at the bus stop.

Listen again, available for 7 days from broadcast.

22nd March

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
Remember yesterday we had that ridge of high pressure? It's just going to sit with us for a couple of days and we almost took some sticky glue and stuck it on the back of the high and it's just going to sit there. A couple of things we have today, a couple of dangly weather fronts. One that's coming into parts of Scotland and the other one that's been sort of draped across southern counties of England. [GENIUS ALERT!] Think of them as two neon lights; you sort of plug them in and they go zzhhh, when you unplug them they go, phhhh, they just fizzle out ... the other one that's coming into Scotland, it's been going zzhhh ... soon we're going to pull the plug on it and it's just going to go phhhh.

You might even be thinking, a packed lunch or something and we're almost getting to that time of year where you say, 'yeah, it might be nice'.

Our high pressure, that's going to more-or-less win the roost because it'll expand its muscles and say, 'ha ha, I'm here, I'm winning' and those weather fronts will fizzle out.

The sound-effects for the neon lights are a MUST LISTEN. 42 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

21st March

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
Fairly settled or, as I like to say, you could almost imagine it, you take a big H, a big high pressure and you just sort of stick it on the weather map, take a big lump of sticky glue, maybe nick it from Blue Peter or something, stick it there on the weather map, leave it there for a couple of days.

Elsewhere you've got little pieces of cloud. They're going to float around like little chess pieces on a chess board of sorts.

The weather front will try and undulate his way in but the ridge of high pressure, the glue will be holding pretty tight, so he'll be still there. There might be a subtle change at the end of the week, the glue might come off the high pressure and might ease away and if it does we might get a weather front creeping down from the north, he might have some cold air in his bag and if he does then we all might be reaching for those warm coats.

Chris: It's a work of art, every morning.

And we hear it's Dan again tomorrow. Yay!

Listen again, 42 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

18th March

6 Music
It's Red Nose Day and Dan isn't quite sure what's going to happen but, in the past, weather forecasts have been hijacked by comedians to "make them fun and different from what we do. We're meant to be serious and talk about all the different weather information."

Vicky: But you talk about wobbly weather fronts.

Dan: My weather world is different, my mind is different. Just imagine somebody looking at the weather map, 'hmmm, what is that? It's like different lumps of clay' and that's how I view things.

Vicky: You see, that's why no-one crashes your weather, purely because you're funny enough on your own. You don't need a famous comedian.

Dan: They probably wouldn't want to come near me - more the reason.

Intimidated by his genius, more like.
Then the forecast, and there's a wiggly weather front again:

You almost think of it like a big blue piece of plasticine and you've got some fat bits, you've got some skinny bits.

Frosty; you might even be out there with the scraper, chchch, on the car.

After that, high pressure, ha ha! It's coming.

If you're out early, maybe you're a dog-walker or something or the dog walks you type thing or maybe it's just a good lie-in, it's going to be a nice-looking day, Saturday.

Listen again, 43 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

Actually had all this typed out this morning and only just realised I hadn't pressed 'publish'. Durr!

17th March

6 Music
Not as foggy today:
You won't be sort of moving the hands as quickly to clear the fog.

At least by the afternoon you can see some brighter skies and go, 'ah, nice' as the weather front comes south.

The weather front:
He'll just sort of loiter for a few hours then eventually he sort of gets the hint, 'ah, it's time to go'.

The outdoor plans for many of us should be in pretty good shape; washing the car or just sort of lazing about or Saturday shopping, whatever, should be in good shape for that.

Vicky likes the loitering weather front. Dan explains:
Every weather front is different, they all have their own style in the sense of the way they work in. Some have intent and meaning, they just sort of come barrelling in; others, you almost think of a weather front like a- if you ever look at a piece of garland on a Christmas tree and it's just sort of hanging there and you've got little lumps and the bits that sort of go up, those are the bits of energy of sorts and it's just little lumps of rain, they just sort of wiggle along. But others, they're really the big mean ones, they sort of wind up and you almost think they have mean faces and they just sort of come barrelling through, 'ha ha, I'm coming'.

Vicky: I think we should start calling you Professor Dan Corbett.

Dan: I'm probably just mad!

Not mad, AWESOME!

Loved that, it sent me off to work smiling. Listen again, 44 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

16th March

6 Music
It's just one of those in-between days. You wouldn't put a big X next to it and say, 'ugh, a yucky day' or a big check saying, 'great day'.

At least you don't need to dress up like the Abominable Snowman with wellies and hat, boots and everything because, for most of us, it's a dry day, how ever you want to slice it.

See the wiggling weather front just wiggling its way slowly southwards. By Friday that's across the southern parts of Britain, this wiggly weather front meandering about just like you take a piece of blue plasticine and you kind of bend it around.

Listen again, 40 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

15th March

6 Music
We hear Dan is on the high-octane coffee and there's another mention of cots:
Dan: We all have cots on the upper floors of Television Centre, so we all just come down, usually about two or three in the morning and then look at all the weather charts - no, I'm just kidding.

Vicky: I've got visions of you in some kind of cot, you know, a baby's cot, you know, looking through the bars like, 'please let me out, I want to get on telly now'.

And from that, onto the forecast:
You maybe peel back the bedroom curtains and go, 'woooh, gosh'.

Vicky: Dan, you are a weather extraordinaire.

Listen again, 40 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Victoria Derbyshire
Victoria: An e-mail from Emma; "Hi, Victoria. What's the weatherman's name? He's great!" It's Dan Corbett. Aaaw, look at the innocent smile from Dan Corbett when that lovely compliment was shouted across the studio. You weren't expecting that, were you?

Dan: No, thank you, thank you very much for that.

Listen again, 1h 34 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

14th March

6 Music
Brace yourselves; possibly the most Dan-isms I've ever heard strung together in one go:
If you sort of looked at the weather map, if you sort of wanted to put little colours on it, you sort of take different lumps of clay, you put a pink one there, a green one there, a red one there, you'd have all these different pieces going on and you'd move them round because the weather, it's having a bit of a battle, it's not figured out if it wants to be really, really cold with all the cold Arctic air to come in, all the weather systems from the Atlantic. So it's going to have a bit of a sit-on-the-side today and say, hmmm, yeah. And it's actually not going to be a bad day. Some might be out with the old ice-scraper in the morning ... so if you're heading out in the car, you'll probably be out there, chchchch, with the scraper.

It's a decent day; you might be sitting there at the bus stop saying, 'not bad, it's gonna be good'.

A low spinning around in France and it's just going to bend its weather front in almost like the arm of an octopus coming in, hmmm, here it is.

Vicky Blight is sitting in for Chris Hawkins:
Dan; multi-coloured clay, scraping scraping of scrapers this morning, fizzling out, and octopuses. That is probably the most incredible funky weather if ever I heard of it.

She continues:
That, my friend, was pretty amazing. I've never heard the weather brought to life in such a way ... I loved it, I really loved it.

We hear Dan's on 6 Music again tomorrow. Hooray!

Listen again, 43 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

5 Live: Victoria Derbyshire
We've got the weather system, the Atlantic on one side and the cold Arctic air, they're having a bit of a battle and each one's saying, 'no, you go first', 'no, you go first' and they can't really decide.

Listen again, 27 minutes in, available for 7 days from broadcast.

10th March

UK Video Forecast
See that area of white there, like I've gone pthoom with a big white paintbrush.

Europe forecast
This little finger here, like I've just sort of been busy with my artwork; that's a lump of wet weather.

Australasia forecast
Almost like you've taken some blue paint and gone, fmmm [throwing gesture] like that.

23:29 BBC News
The weather's having a bit of a battle. You've got some cold Arctic air that's trying to work into the northern parts of the British Isles, further south it's not too bad but the two different air masses certainly having a bit of a go at each other.

23:56 BBC News
It's one of those mixed sort of days. For some of us, the snow shovel [snow shovel gesture], in other spots probably a light jacket will be fine. In a few other places, yes, the wet-weather gear will probably come in handy.

00:56 BBC News
The weather's having a bit of a tug-of-war with the calendar. I think at the moment it's trying to say March, but it's almost like going like that [gestures jumbling up calendar], trying to flip the pages and more than likely for some of us it feels perhaps like January or February.

Remember the cold air? It's trying to ooze down and it's almost like you go, fffff [hose gesture], you spray it with a big white cannon of sorts.

01:26 BBC News
The main weather system is this lump of colour here. It's like a big blue sausage of sorts, sort of oozing its way up.

These lumps of white, like I've put some cotton wool in it [gestures dabbing screen]. No, that's the cold air.

There's video, below.

Radio 2: Janice Long
I imagine this picture of somebody taking a calendar, you have two people, one on either side saying, 'no, put it on March', 'no, January', 'no, March'.

The cold Arctic air or, as I call it, the big blue men who are just sort of sitting there, 'huhurr, we're coming'.

You head out the door in the morning and it's just sort of like, right, what do I need this morning? You need the warm coat, you need the snow shovel in some spots and in other places it might just be an umbrella and in a few places today ... a light jacket, maybe hold onto your hat and you'll be fine.

The cold air is sort of working into it and going, 'haha, I'm coming!'

As I say, it's one of those, 'no it's January', 'no, it's March', you know, on the calendar.

Listen again, about 1h 15m in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

Shipping Forecast
Listen again, 1 minute in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

9th March

UK Video forecast
Fairly keen old breeze, you'll certainly notice that; the old dustbin lids will be down the end of the road before too long.

The fairly swift winds look like small fish swimming about [on the weather map - see pic].

Australasia forecast
That lump of blue, almost like it's been painted on [painting gesture].

00:28 BBC News
If you're thinking of taking the old umbrella out today, you're probably gonna need two hands on it as well [two-handed umbrella gesture (yay!)]

01:26 BBC News
Just one of those days where you're not sure if it's the raincoat, the warm coat or perhaps the umbrella or probably everything.

01:57 BBC News
A fairly keen old breeze too; don't be surprised, you might be out there probably seeing the neighbour's dustbin lid or something.

Radio 2: Janice Long
You can almost imagine this big blue monster sitting out in the North Sea or something, just sort of lurking, that's the cold air.

The cold air's on one side, and the milder is on the other and the low is in the middle just sort of spinning around like a mad top.

Spring:
There are signs of it in places, but it's not going to all of a sudden say, 'ha ha, I'm here' because you know what winter's like, it always wants to rear its ugly head and, even as we get closer to Easter, it's still saying, 'one last sing of the fat lady' sort of things before it finally clears off into the distance.

Listen again, about 1h 14m in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Up All Night
Funnel cloud in Auckland:
You get the twisting in the cloud and all of a sudden there was a strange-looking thing, almost like the Wizard of Oz.

A couple of tropical lows that are literally, think of them like a couple of big hands squeezing sponges and just dumping that rain across that section of Australia.

Listen again, about 3h 27m in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

Shipping Forecast
Listen again, 1 minute in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

5th March

23:29 BBC News
Tomorrow we'll say, 'off you go, bye bye' to the weather system [dismissive sweep of the arm].

Outdoor plans? Maybe even a trip to the park, nice as we finish off the day.

00:27 BBC News
Maybe heading to France for the day? Germany? Nice weather. Heading to eastern parts of Europe? Take your warm coat. Look at Bucharest, three degrees [sharp intake of breath, huddles], ugh, cold.

Tuesday; some subtle changes. That warm coat; you might want to think about where it is.

01:26 BBC News
Step to the outside across the East Midlands, it looks like a bit of Swiss cheese really, lumps of cloud here and there [waves hands across the map].

The cloud is just sort of floating around [more hand waving] like taking some checkers and moving them round a checkerboard of sorts. It's a decent dry day. Head to the outside, wash the car, should be OK.

Not bad for the afternoon if you're maybe out-and-about, maybe go see the neighbours or something like that, they're coming round.

By Tuesday, oh, things start to change.

05:57 BBC News
With a ridge of high pressure sitting across the British Isles for the day, it might be one of those days where you peel back the bedroom curtains [gestures doing so] and go, 'oooh, wow, a good-looking day'.

UK Video Forecast
It's just a decent afternoon, maybe you're outside washing the car [gestures doing so] or something.

Europe
Across the western parts of Europe it looks like a lovely Spring day for the most part, a fine day for the gardens in many areas.

Across eastern parts of Europe yes, you can see, it's like [energetic salt-cellar gesture - see pic] that, just shaking a salt shaker, this is the cold Arctic air.

See the awesome salt-cellar gesture in action here.

North America
A storm system:
A good little oomph there.

On its northern edge we've gone mad with a big white roller [paint-roller gesture - see pic].

It's a soggy old day maybe heading out-and-about towards the beach for parts of Florida.

Central America and Caribbean
It won't be the day for the sunbathing in Nassau.

No sound on the South America forecast!

5Live: Up All Night
Rain in the Philippines:
Think of it like squeeezing a sponge.

In Italy:
There's been a low that's been lingering like an unwanted house guest.

In the UK:
High pressure has come to visit us for the day.

Listen again, 3h 27m in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

Shipping Forecast
Listen again, 1 minute in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

4th March

UK Video Forecast
This is it really and you'll say, 'wow, that's the weather front'.

As we go in to the evening hours, what is the weather front [see pic] yeah, what is the weather front?, slowly sinks away.

23:29 BBC News
Maybe you step outside in the morning and you might go, 'phew, wow'.

There's video, below.

23:56 BBC News
THIS is why I've missed Dan on the TV. Genius:

There's a weak weather system spreading across the British Isles for the weekend. You blink, you miss it and then you look at the weather map and you probably say, 'is that it?!'.

It will feel chilly though, so you might grab those extra layers, maybe you're in the high street for Saturday shopping.

The main energy has gone well east, so it's really just- think of it like a piece of cloud, you pull it apart [gestures doing so].

Temperatures don't hang about with clearer skies, phooom [dropping gesture], straight down.

It's a grey start here, it might be sort of eee [looks up, pulls face] as you step out.

It just sort of, uh [gestures trying to push a stubborn area of cloud south], come on, move it, slooowly, there it goes.

What is the little weather front sinking south and there he goes [nods], he's getting the hint now, off he goes, that's it [pushes it away].

00:27 BBC News
You might see the odd bit of patchy fog early on if you're out early sort of taking the dog out for a walk or something [dog-walking gesture].

Bits and pieces of cloud floating around [waves hands around the map] like bits of er- checkers floating around a checkerboard of sorts.

01:55 BBC News
You look at it and you say, 'wow, is that it?' because the main energy on the weather front is well east, so think of it like taking a little blue string and you go, 'wooooargh', like pull it apart [gestures doing so].

There's video, below.

North America Video Forecast
On its top edge, yes, it looks lovely, doesn't it? Like painting it white [painting gesture], a decent area of snow.

Central America Video Forecast
One little cluster of storms sitting well east, all really just affecting seagulls.

5Live: Up All Night
Indian Summer in Argentina:
You can imagine them dancing around there.

In Australia:
It's been so wet that all the people are probably starting to grow webs on their fingers, believe it or not.

Listen again, 3h 29m in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

Shipping Forecast
Read in Dan's ever-reassuring tones.
Listen again, 1 minute in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

25th February

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
Chris talks about getting old and, after Dan complains he's the greyest-looking person in the Weather Centre now, Chris simply calls him 'the most sophisticated'.

Then the forecast:
Maybe you're just nipping out, grab a sandwich with friends.

That weather front, there's two different lumps of it. You sort of think of two different lumps of blue clay.

Oh, so it's blue clay now is it? Perhaps Plasticine are defending their trademark.

Southern parts of Britain, not a night for the washing on the line because this wet weather will be working through. It just hasn't really made up its mind what it wants to do and that's why Saturday could be a bit of a- put a small question mark next to the day because if the low just sort of eases through gracefully as it does like a pirouetting ballerina, just sort of clears away, bye bye, that'll be that. But if it lingers around like somebody on a Sunday afternoon after it's finished your Sunday lunch and he's looking for leftovers, it might still be there through the day.

Saturday might be wettish, hopefully not but, if we move the right levers in the Weather Centre, Sunday should at least be the drier one of the two.

Chris: Good luck with those levers, Dan.

Dan: It takes a lot of people to move them, you see.

Chris then (quite rightly) calls Dan a National Treasure, thanks him and hopes to see him again soon. Unfortunately, we hear that's probably not next week.

Listen again, 39 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Gabby Logan
Gabby: Dan is here with his inimitable weather forecast.

The weather system hasn't figured out what it wants to do and we're just pushing the right levers saying, 'move that way' but sometimes they just say, 'huhu, hold on a bit'.

Listen again, 31 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

24th February

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
Well, it's a good-looking day and, I know, you wake up early and you think it's going to be a bone-chilling start to the day, huddling at the bus stop. But, you know what? That's all done. Remember we were looking at that cold Arctic air? We said to the big blue men in the North Sea, 'get away, go away' - they got the hint.

Instead of, as I say, huddling at the bus stop, you might just step outside and say, 'yeah, feels different'.

Some of you might even be tempted to grab your sunglasses for a change.

It's the day we might've circled on the calendar a couple of days ago and said, 'yeah, that's the day lunchtime we can nip outside and have a nice walk in the park'. It won't feel as bone-chilling, you sort of look outside in the morning and see the window and it's just sort of, eurgh, yuck.

Some showers:
You might be dodging out-and-about if it's, what, Saturday shopping or whatever you might have planned.

There's a short discussion about music before the forecast.
Listen again, 39 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

23rd February

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
Chris is looking for examples of people's qualifications not being put to use. As we know, this doesn't apply to Dan:
I more-or-less do what it says on the tin.

Chris invites himself round for a meal after hearing Dan likes to cook. Why am I not surprised to hear Dan suggesting a barbecue?

Then the forecast:
By the afternoon, as you're maybe stepping to the outside for lunch or something like that, you'll go with your friends, "uurgh, God, it's still raining."

We push the weather front through and, he-hey, sunglasses might come out.

Sometimes with all these wet days you sort of think you're going to come home from work afterwards and almost feel like you've got webbed feet or something like that.

Chris: Dan, you're amazing. Thank you so much.

We hear he's back tomorrow morning too. Yay!

Listen again, 39 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Stephen Nolan
Stephen was sitting in for Victoria Derbyshire today. He was pleased to see Dan:
Here's my favourite weatherman now, Daniel Corbett!

So pleased, he even tweeted about it.

22nd February

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
Call me daft, and I probably am, but today's just one of those days where you just, you step to the outside this morning, you just sort of think maybe if you've got a long path in your garden or something, or maybe just step to the outside onto the walk, it's just one of those days where you, it's just damp, it's drizzly and you know, the snails and the slugs, if they could be sitting there and you could have a magnifying glass and look at them, they'd be going, 'he-hey! It's a good day!' because it's just a damp, drizzly day, if they could jump up and smile type thing.

Chris points out that 'onto the walk' is an Americanism, and there's a short discussion about the States (during which Dan adopts an American accent).

Chris: Do they point and laugh at you Dan?

Dan: Everyone does it anyway. My wife does that too.

Obviously, they're not laughing AT Dan, they're laughing WITH him.

Chris: Just give us an insight into your world as you wake up of a morning before you arrive at work.

Dan: Well, I don't know if you ever realised, at Television Centre they've got that top floor of the ring and we all just have little cots [I'm going to assume this is another Americanism. Let's hope so anyway] there and we just sort of slide down a flagpole, come into the Weather Centre and usually about three-thirty, four o'clock, the tea is made - and then we're just in there.

Then the forecast:
As I say, for lack of a better term, its a day when those snails and slugs will be going, 'yay! A nice day!'. It's a drizzly day, it's a yucky day as you step to the outside. Your wet-weather gear, your brolly in hand probably at the bus stop.

Otherwise, everywhere else, it won't be the day where you sort of step to the outside and go, 'wow, it's bright'. Sunglasses; no.

Not a night for the washing on the line.

And then, just like you flick a gas switch on the stove, vmmf, off it goes.

That warm parka, stash it to the back of the cupboard, you won't need it.

It's grey, it's drizzly, it's snail weather today, but by the end of the week you'll be outside and saying, 'ooh yes', it's almost just a thin jacket or something like that.

Listen again, 39 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live: Gabby Logan
Weather-wise it's just one of those days where you're sort of looking outside for some blue sky and you say, 'hehe, it's not here, is it?'

It is quite a sheet of cloud, like a big thick duvet being thrown on the old bed.

Take the parkas, stash them to the back of the cupboard. Thursday will feel very different.

Gabby: You've got a thing about parkas, haven't you? You were talking about them yesterday. What about duffle coats? Where are they in your fashion repertoire?

Dan: You won't need those by the end of the week, no. It'll feel very different.

Listen again, 30 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

21st February

6 Music
Chris Hawkins tells Dan he's been missed, and Dan tells us he's been away:
They let me out for a couple of hours, I just sort of go round the park in the front of the building and then I come back in. No, I'm just kidding.

Chris uses Loose Women and Antiques Roadshow to help him get to sleep. Dan has another suggestion:
If you're ever looking for something to help you fall asleep at night, just take one of my weather broadcasts, run it back and just play about the first thirty seconds. Most people; bing, click, right off.

The only circumstance in which I can imagine this might be true is in the Dan-ism free Shipping Forecast. It's his calm, reassuring tone.

The Arctic air is just sort of oozing- anyone walked off to the- maybe, somewhere like Norwich or Bridlington, they'd look in the North Sea, you can just imagine the Arctic air as a big blue ugly bloke sort of sitting there, 'urrrrr', waiting.

You've just got a grey, uuurgh, start to the day as you sort of stand at the bus stop and you look at your neighbour and say, 'yeah, it's yucky isn't it?'.

There may be rain at lunchtime:
Maybe if you're out for that packed lunch or something if you are planning.

How ever you want to slice it, as I say, it's just sort of a grey, wet sort of day; the umbrella in hand; sunglasses, they'll be stashed in the back of the cupboard maybe in the bureau or something, they might come out later in the week. They might.

Remember the big blue guy sitting in the North Sea, the cold Arctic air? It's almost like somebody says, 'ha ha, go away' and it finally does.

Imagine somebody like flicking a switch and then, all of a sudden it just works its way in ... a different sort of feel to the day by Wednesday, voom, double figures, very different.

And that's the weather, for now.

Chris: A work of art.

So true.

Listen again, 40 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

5Live
The interesting thing about both Victoria Derbyshire's and Gabby Logan's shows is that you can watch online as you listen - and so you get to see Dan in the studio delivering his forecast.

I've long been fascinated by other people's reactions to Dan, so it was wonderful to see on Gabby Logan's show that the entire studio was listening intently to his forecast [see pic]. Gabby seemed to enjoy it so much she even attempted to join in...

Dan: Further south, yes, it's 'yeuth' to the outside; the cloud, the rain, the drizzle here and there-

Gabby: Is that a technical term?

Dan: It's a scientific, meteorological one actually [laughs].

Later:
Dan: Just, yes, you look to the outside, you've got it now, a 'hyuh' sort of day-

Gabby: It's a 'zhush' and a 'huh'.

Then:
Dan: By the middle of the week we'll all take the warm parkas or the extra layers, stick 'em to the back of the cupboard because Wednesday and Thursday temperatures could be easily double figures, but there's a lump of rain to get through-

Gabby: A bit more 'pffph'?

Dan: Well, it will go 'pffph' by the time it works through, the winds will pick up as well by the end of the week so-

Another sound effect interruption from Gabby and Dan has either reached the end of the forecast or has given up, finishing with, 'that's it for now.'

Gabby: Thank you very much, Dan. Extraordinary weather, I loved it ... I enjoyed the sound effects. Thank you very much.

Listen again, 33 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.

I'm sure he was utterly awesome on Breakfast, but I just cannot bring myself to listen. Sorry.

28th January

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
It's cold:
You come running in from the car park into work, hurrying in as quickly as you can.

Squee! Dan drops an 'ah, lovely' into the conversation.

Chris seems to think he saw Dan dressed casually for the latest Weather Show, but I'm fairly sure he was in suit and tie for that. Keep meaning to upload that video. That and a fair few others. I'll get round to it eventually.
Chris suggests Dan gets his Weather Show slot because "you do it better than everybody else." True.

First thing you all do ... when you step to the outside you sort of 'whoaaah'.

One of those days where you run in from the bus stop into the building or something, you're sprinting as fast as you can.

I know we've had this pesky cloud, you just want to rip it off the weather map and say, 'enough of you'.

A little ridge of high pressure, it's like we put some glue on the back of it and he's going to sit there for a couple of days. One little dangly weather front, he's just going to scrape the far north of Scotland and then, like you pull a piece of string apart, ppt, that's it. It just thins out, it dies. It's just a left-over area of cloud. Saturday, it's gonna be fine, it's gonna be dry if you're going out for a nice walk or something.

Otherwise it's OK, take the family out for a nice Sunday walk or something or maybe the neighbours are coming round, it should be OK, or maybe they aren't [Chris and Slev laugh], it's still going to be OK for the most part weather-wise. That's the weather, for now.

Brilliant!

Listen again, about 40 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast. And from the programme description:
Dan the weatherman does his most bonkers forecast to date.

27th January

6 Music: Chris Hawkins
Anyone who steps outside this morning, probably the first thing you're gonna go is go, 'braaaugh, gosh!', you're gonna run back inside if you haven't got that extra-warm coat, that big parka.

If you're sort of standing on the platform or somewhere like that, you're just gonna, ohh, really sort of feel it.

Bits and pieces of cloud moving around, almost like you move little magical cups around of sorts.

Today, dressed up as the Abominable Snowman.

Chris: Dan, will that be it then?

Dan: That's the weather, for now.

Listen again, about 42 minutes in. Available for 7 days from broadcast.